E8.25 Accelerate Your Growth
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[00:00:00] Speaker: You've let go of who you used to be. You started building who you're becoming. So why does the whole thing still feel so fragile, enough to fall apart at any given time, especially if you're having a bad day, bad week, let alone a bad month? If you've been with me throughout the whole series, this is graduation day.

[00:00:25] Speaker: Woo-woo, woo-woo. If you're joining us for the first time on this episode, welcome. But I'll tell you honestly that everything that we're gonna cover today assumes that the foundation is already in place. Once you're done here, go back and start with episode one, because acceleration only works on something that's already been built.

[00:00:47] Speaker 2: Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms today's managers into tomorrow's powerhouse leaders. Your host, Bernadette Boas, executive coach and author, brings you into a world where the corporate grind meets personal growth [00:01:00] and success in each and every episode

[00:01:05] Speaker: So let's take 30 seconds and really look at how far you've actually come. In episode one, discover, you identified who you are as a leader underneath the title and the performance. In episode two, confront, you named the fears, insecurities, the doubts, the negativities, the imposter syndrome that has been quietly running your leadership from the inside out.

[00:01:29] Speaker: In episode three, shed, you did the work of letting go, finding the stories behind your gaps, finding the evidence against it, and making the first deliberate choice to stop performing and start owning who you are, especially as a leader 

[00:01:48] Speaker 2: And in episode four, 

[00:01:50] Speaker: create. You built the foundation underneath your new identity: trust, integrity, motivation, empowerment, and results, [00:02:00] plus the one bold action that made it real instead of theoretical.

[00:02:05] Speaker: None of that is actually self-sustaining. Today we build the momentum that doesn't depend on your best day in order for it to hold. So welcome back to the final episode of your series, From Stuck to Leading. This is step five, accelerate. Here's where we are. Whichever way you arrived, you've discovered, confronted, shed, and created.

[00:02:27] Speaker: You have a new identity, and it's real. And what we're building today is the difference between a leader who simply took part in a five-episode series once, and a powerhouse leader, someone who runs this exact process on purpose for the rest of their career every single time they hit a new ceiling. And if you're advancing in your career, you're gonna continue to hit ceilings.

[00:02:51] Speaker: So today we make sure that what you've built doesn't just survive, it compounds. And one last note, especially if you're new to the series [00:03:00] and you have not taken the Leadership Gap Diagnostic, which we use your scores throughout the five-part series. So you can go to ballofirecoaching.com/optin, download that free diagnostic.

[00:03:12] Speaker: It'll take about 10 minutes. There's 25 statements. You'll get a score, and then you can leverage that score and the information that's given to you in your results in order to then work through the five steps that we've been talking about throughout this series. As we get into this, let's really secure what these five steps are that you could be using each and every day in your own personal and professional life in order to really ensure that how you're showing up each and every day is how you want to be showing up to get the results that you want.

[00:03:45] Speaker: So first, discover. Who are you? And on a regular basis, you could be asking yourself questions in order to really understand and identify who it is that you're working toward being. And then [00:04:00] confronting is as we change, as we grow, there's new fears, insecurities, doubts, negativities, and therefore, we want to ensure that they're not controlling us and running the show for us, that we are aware of them and that we are finding techniques and frameworks and tips and strategies, even those that we've talked about throughout the series, in order for us to shut those things down so they don't get in our way of achieving our goals.

[00:04:29] Speaker: Shedding is all about letting go. Now, of course, there's things about us that we wanna hold onto. So I always call it honor your riches, shed your bitches. So and your bitches being your fears, insecurities, doubts, and negativities. And so shed is all about really understanding what those things are and working toward letting them go or holding onto them and leveraging them to keep yourself motivated and determined and persistent in growing and advancing.

[00:04:58] Speaker: And then, of course, [00:05:00] create is once you are seeing those changes and you are growing in confidence, in security, in optimism, in motivation, in integrity, you want something new, bigger, different, and better. So that's what create's all about. And now we're finishing up with accelerate, with additional tips and strategies and practices to really secure your transformation in place and to accelerate it.

[00:05:27] Speaker: Because, of course, when we start achieving what we want and we're living a much more authentic, fuller, happier life, we want more of it even faster. And so that's what accelerate is all about And one caution, which is something that I have to talk to a lot to HR leaders and even team leaders, and that is a new identity doesn't happen overnight.

[00:05:50] Speaker: Transformation, growth, it takes time. It takes persistence. It takes determination. It takes really understanding [00:06:00] your why. Why do you wanna become the person that you've been discovering, confronting, shedding, and creating? Why is that? And if you need to really understand how to get to that why, ask yourself why.

[00:06:16] Speaker: Why do I want to be a leader who leaves a legacy, who's well-respected, who other people wanna come and work for? Why? Why is that important? You answer it. All right, that you have an answer, could be surface answer, and you ask yourself again, all right, why is that important? Why is that going to make me feel fulfilled and complete and confident and overall happy in my life?

[00:06:45] Speaker: And you answer that, and then you say, "Okay, so why that?" And you keep drilling into it until you get to your core essence of what it is and why it is you're gonna be working so hard to become the [00:07:00] person that you're meant to be or the leader that you're meant to be. Now, I wanna go back to what I said earlier about the fact that oftentimes, think about even a diet, oftentimes y- we are on a diet, we have our nutrition plan, we have our fitness plan, we have our mindset plan, and everything's going great.

[00:07:20] Speaker: Like, I've been on one, a nutrition plan for about two months and 20-some odd days, so I'm almost at my three-month marker. And all of a sudden, one bad day, one bad incident, one bad conversation, one bad rejection, one bad denial of a promotion or a bonus or a good performance review, and all of a sudden you could be hitting the refrigerator.

[00:07:51] Speaker: I could be hitting ice cream or cake. Or or in a work environment way, one bad [00:08:00] interaction or encounter and all of a sudden you could be rejecting those old insecurities, fears, and negativities that you already worked through, you already discovered, confronted, and let go. Yet they weren't fully let go if all of a sudden a bad situation or a conversation or a comment or someone's look triggers it again.

[00:08:23] Speaker: You have to recognize that if you are triggered back into your old stories and your old beliefs, then the work isn't fully done, and therefore you need to keep iterating through discovering, confronting, and shedding, and which is letting go of whatever those things are that's causing you to perform or behave or show up in a way that's not working for you, in a way that your team is feeling stressed or disgruntled, in a way where your boss isn't satisfied, in a way where ultimately you're not happy So you need [00:09:00] to really become hyperfocused on yourself and how you are responding and how that response is being projected to those around you.

[00:09:11] Speaker: To make accelerate really stick so you can put your foot on the pedal and go after whatever it is you want to achieve, you need to ensure to do a few things that we already have worked on and talked about throughout this series. And you can sum it up in a four-part loop that is iterative. All right, so I'm gonna take you back a little bit.

[00:09:32] Speaker: So the first part would be your evidence. Leverage that evidence that we talked about when we were finding evidence of the fact that your beliefs and the stories that you've been telling yourself, especially those beliefs and stories that have been beating you down, you worked on finding evidence that those stories and beliefs are not true, and then you rewrote your story and a belief that you are now going to own and show up [00:10:00] as.

[00:10:00] Speaker: You need to leverage that evidence, and remember, we also talked about in episode four how you can actually build, like, an evidence file. You can keep a journal as you're discovering who you are. You're confronting it. You're going through that three-part process of making note of every negative, insecure, self-sabotaging belief or story that you're telling yourself.

[00:10:22] Speaker: The next column being that you're finding the evidence that those things are not true, and then the third column being what is that new belief or that story? So that's your proof, and as you go through the day or through the week, you could be then journaling, making note of new evidence that you're finding.

[00:10:42] Speaker: Any time that one of those negative stories come up for you, you can then look around within your experience and say, "Well, wait a minute, I'm not afraid of conflict. I just dealt with X, Y, and Z. I'm not afraid of asking for what I want. I sat in a meeting and I raised my hand [00:11:00] even without being prompted," so forth and so on.

[00:11:02] Speaker: All right? So that's the first part of the loop, the iterative loop that you could be leveraging in order to ensure that what you've already been building, the foundation that you've been building, will compound over time. The second piece would be r- we talked about standards. We talked about values, and therefore, what are the standards and the values that you want to live by?

[00:11:28] Speaker: Maybe you didn't really think about them before. I can have a conversation with 10 people, and about 7 out of 10 of them will say, "I really have never thought about it. I've never put down what it is that I stand for, what it is that I won't accept, what it is that I will accept, what my values are." And therefore, you need to elevate your standard.

[00:11:51] Speaker: You need to really understand what they are. And then from that, you need to leverage those standards in order to then say yes or no, create your [00:12:00] boundaries, either accept or reject Either receive or to give, whatever the case might be, you need to continue to raise the bar, and you're gonna want to.

[00:12:11] Speaker: That's the part of accelerate that's so exciting, is as you're growing and transforming, and you're creating new things in your life, and they're showing up, you want to accelerate even more and more of that into your life. The new, bigger, better and different. Elevating your standards will come over time because before you r- may not have understood them.

[00:12:35] Speaker: You may not have really considered them. And then as you're performing against those standards, you're recognizing, "Well, wait a minute. No, that's not even good enough. I'm still getting taken advantage of. I'm still people-pleasing. I'm still having those insecure thoughts." You just continue to elevate your own standards, of which then becomes a framework for how you show up each and every [00:13:00] day, and how you accept other people showing up in your world.

[00:13:04] Speaker: The third part of the loop is what I call restructure your circle. You're probably very familiar with the understanding that you are the average of the five people closest to you. So your circle, if you look around at your circle and really look at them from a, like, a character perspective, you will find that your standards are established at the same level as those around you.

[00:13:32] Speaker: And therefore, if you're looking to elevate and grow and advance, you need to start restructuring that circle of people that not only that you're hanging out with, but it could be from a very social perspective, it could be that the people around you are holding you down. But even in the workplace, if you're accustomed to going peer-to-peer all the time, or you even go just to your people, and you isolate yourself into your [00:14:00] silo, well, that's not going to get you anywhere.

[00:14:02] Speaker: And so I would be coaching you to say, "No, no, no, you need to identify the people in positions that you are working toward, and then you need to go and interact with those individuals." And so you wanna restructure your circle, and as you do, they're gonna have higher expectations and standards as well, and that will firm up all the work that you've been doing and that foundation that you've been building around the new identity that you are creating for yourself, or you're, you are becoming of yourself.

[00:14:33] Speaker: Look around and ask yourself who's around you, and are they reflecting who it is that you want to be? And if they are not, then go seek out those that are And this is a hard part for many people. It's a hard part for those that I coach on a regular basis. And yet they realize when they do, they're all of a sudden leveling up their leadership and their executive presence and their confidence, and that just creates a [00:15:00] new perception of the potential of that individual or of yourself.

[00:15:05] Speaker: Fourth part of the loop is the iteration. Keep in mind, just as we have been discussing with the five steps of what I call my shift to riches formula, discover, confront, shed, create, and accelerate, this loop, four-part loop of leveraging the evidence, elevating your standard, and restructuring your circle, it's iterative.

[00:15:27] Speaker: If all of a sudden you're working through any one of those steps and all of a sudden you fall back, something comes up, then you just go back through the process. You go back through the loop, and you say to yourself, "Okay, then I need to look for the evidence again. I need to elevate my standards 'cause obviously they're not high enough yet for people to respond to me positively.

[00:15:52] Speaker: I need to change up who I'm hanging out with, and then I have to recognize that this is a [00:16:00] iterative loop that I need to use as I move forward in both my work and my life." So I had one client, he was very much stuck in really understanding who he wanted to be as a leader and how he wanted to be showing up each and every day.

[00:16:15] Speaker: So we worked through all of that. He was recognizing in the, especially in the discovery phase, he was recognizing that there was a lot of lack of self-awareness that he had of himself. He really saw himself very differently than how it turned out other people were viewing him. So that discovery kind of got him very insecure on top of already feeling some self-doubt, and yet he was determined to change.

[00:16:48] Speaker: And so that determination is, uh, definitely what a coach wants because then from that determination, he was willing to confront- That feedback, that [00:17:00] assessment, those behaviors and the, the attitude and the overall performance, how he was engaging with his team, and then he was able to put a plan in place to start chipping away and filling those gaps.

[00:17:13] Speaker: Now, so he does that very successfully, gets through the discover, confront, the shed. He even starts creating new goals and objectives for himself and even his team members, and we continued on this path, uh, because remember, you have to be patient and it takes time, especially if you want it to stick. And then all of a sudden, there was a major restructuring and shakeup in his organization that impacted him significantly.

[00:17:41] Speaker: He even acknowledged that would just knock him to his feet and bring out a lot of the old stories and the old beliefs. He went back through, he iterated through the five steps especially, but even looking for the evidence, wanting to elevate his standards [00:18:00] and restructure his circle, and he just kept persisting and determined that, yes, the steps that he had taken before, 'cause it was now new evidence, the steps that he'd taken before did work and therefore he's gonna continue to do that.

[00:18:15] Speaker: And the next thing, that restructuring actually worked to his benefit, and he was able to take all of that new learning, all of that new growth, all of that new transformation into, into a totally new role. And he now feels a lot more confident that if something were to come up and it wasn't in his favor, he had the tools and the foundation to work through it, and that's what we want.

[00:18:42] Speaker: That's all that we want, is to provide that foundation for you and for him and everyone else to really work through what may or may not be working for you so you are a powerhouse leader at the end. And the benefit of accelerating, of really working through that [00:19:00] four, four part loop, but also leveraging the five steps of discovering, confronting, shedding, creating, and accelerating, is that you gain motivation.

[00:19:08] Speaker: You are more determined, you're excited, your confidence is growing, and your belief system is solid. It's now more positive, it's now more energetic, it's now more future forward-thinking, and it's now more growth-oriented as opposed to any of the self-sabotaging negative, uh, beliefs and s- that you might have on a loop, uh, within your mind.

[00:19:34] Speaker: And a key tip, you don't need a way to feel these things. You don't need a way to feel motivated or determined or excited or have the confidence in order to then do the work. You can start at any point and those things will grow. Those things will be accelerated as a result. So I don't want you leaning on excuses of why you wouldn't get started [00:20:00] at any part of the discover, confront, shed, create, or accelerate, or even any part of that loop.

[00:20:07] Speaker: Finding the evidence, elevating your standards, you can do all of that at any point in time. And once you do, all of a sudden, those benefits of accelerating your growth and your transformation will start showing up and start tr- and start shifting you in ways that you probably have never experienced before, and it is exciting.

[00:20:33] Speaker: Now, to take that four-part loop and actually put it into action or into motion, this is what I want you to do. I want you to start building your evidence file, even if that means in your journal or on your phone, wherever you're accustomed to taking notes. As you are really becoming aware of what are those insecurities, fears, negativities, self-doubts, if you need to look at it as [00:21:00] purely what are my leadership gaps, you can go back to the leadership gap diagnostic and even use that as a starting point.

[00:21:07] Speaker: And from there, you're-- look for the evidence that says, "All right, this gap or this fear, insecurity Does exist or it doesn't exist, and it doesn't exist because here's the evidence that I h- don't have this fear, I don't have this insecurity, I don't have this gap. I want you to be careful though, because again, this is self-awareness.

[00:21:30] Speaker: You might not feel that you have that gap or that insecurity, and yet that's what other people are experiencing from you. You really need to be brutally honest with you in finding both the gap and as well the evidence. So start building an evidence file. That's move number one. Move number two, elevate your standards.

[00:21:51] Speaker: Raise the bar. Raise the bar on purpose. If you're here, look for what it's gonna take to elevate your [00:22:00] standards, your beliefs, your values, and then use that as your framework to set boundaries, decisions, to take risks, so forth and so on. All right? That would be move number two. And then move number three, tied back to the four-part loop, is go and build that new circle.

[00:22:20] Speaker: Restructure it. Find one or two people that you haven't been connected to, you haven't been interacting with, you haven't really paid much attention to, who are where you wanna be, and start assessing what makes them the type of leader in that particular role that they are, and where are your gaps to where you can then start filling in those gaps based on what that individual might be modeling toward you.

[00:22:49] Speaker: And then the fourth move of the four-part loop would be to make it iterative. Put a date on the calendar 90 days out, at which [00:23:00] time you're, within the 90 days you're gonna work on discovering, confronting, shedding, creating, accelerating, and you're gonna be looking at these four moves of the four-part loop, and in 90 days you're gonna do a check-in with yourself.

[00:23:14] Speaker: You can have an accountability partner to do it with you, or a coach, and you're going to see where you are. Against where you were, yet where you wanna be. And then recognize that it's, there's no right or wrong answer. Now, if there's things that need to be worked on again, then you just continue to iterate through that five-part Shift to Riches formula; discover, confront, shed, create, accelerate.

[00:23:42] Speaker: Recognize that it's a loop, it's iterative, and it's something that you're gonna be using on a day in, day out basis throughout your career and/or life. 'Cause I can't tell you how many times, and it just makes me so thrilled, that the work that I do with my clients, they'll say to me, "I, uh, I started applying [00:24:00] these things at home, and it's changed my relationships, my interactions with my kids, my partner, whomever."

[00:24:07] Speaker: And that's exactly why, uh, myself and other coaches do what we do. So to close the loop on where we were in episode one in my story of how, yes, my firing back in 2008 by my mentor sent me in a whole new direction, one that led me to discovering the Shift to Riches formula, because I myself had to go through a process of really learning who I was.

[00:24:35] Speaker: And so I had to discover, confront, shed, create, and accelerate, just like we're talking about here. And throughout the last 18 years, I certainly have had my highs and my lows. I've certainly had where I definitely did all that work, and I created a new identity for myself. As we've talked about throughout the series, I created a new identity for myself, my genuine identity, to where people would come to me and say, [00:25:00] "I don't even recognize you," not physically, but emotionally, spiritually.

[00:25:05] Speaker: "I don't even recognize you from the old Bernadette." And nothing's more validating than that. Yet, I also then- Fell right on my ass and I lost the business. I lost a lot of personal money over those several years. I put everything at risk and I just told myself, "Wait a minute. I have tons of evidence that I can get fired and get humiliated and feel ashamed, and yet w- all of a sudden build a business and establish myself up in a time period where everything was imploding, and got to a point where I really stood out amongst the crowd, so to speak."

[00:25:48] Speaker: Uh, so I can do it again. I can work through and iterate so I can overcome and push through and create the new identity, [00:26:00] even from the one that I found 16, 18 years ago. And the takeaway here is that acceleration isn't just a moment in time. It actually is any ordinary day that brings ups and downs, with potential days of struggle, with potential weeks of exhaustion or frustration or fear.

[00:26:21] Speaker: And yet, and yet, with the tools and the frameworks and the strategies that you've been provided, you have the foundation for then pushing through and thriving through any difficult or even an exciting experience. As a wrap-up, here's your coaching question. Which of the four moves that we've talked about, that four-part loop that got turned into moves, which one of those are you most likely to slide on?

[00:26:47] Speaker: Not most likely to do, but most likely to avoid or to delay and let it slide. Which one of those four? Building evidence, defining your standards, [00:27:00] adding or changing, restructuring your circle, or recognizing that it's iterative and you keep going through it over and over again until you get where you wanna go.

[00:27:11] Speaker: Which one of those four are you going to let slide? Because once you have identified that, that should be the first place you start in regards to building a system that will ensure you address it before you move on to those things that are more comfortable and easier, in your mind at least. All right?

[00:27:30] Speaker: So look over those four moves and identify which one you're not necessarily going to throw yourself at and accelerate taking action on, and start there. And keep in mind, the show continues. You can go back and revisit any one or all five of the episodes within the From Stuck to Leading series. You can do that at balloffirecoaching.com/podcast.

[00:27:56] Speaker: You can pass it on to a colleague or one of your team members so they [00:28:00] too can really look into and dig into, uh, what it's going to take for them to be a powerhouse leader. Be sure to download your free leadership gap diagnostic at balloffirecoaching.com/optin. It'll give you tons of information and give you a starting point for filling those gaps or addressing any of the fears, insecurities, doubts, or negativities that could be keeping you from being that powerhouse leader you're meant to be.

[00:28:28] Speaker: I'll look forward to having you right back here for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Bye. 

[00:28:34] Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning into today's episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Don't miss any of our weekly episodes. Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you love to listen.

[00:28:44] Speaker 2: And for those who thrive on visual content, catch us on our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. Wanna dive deeper with Bernadette on becoming a powerhouse leader? Visit balloffirecoaching.com to learn more about how she helps professionals, HR executives, and team leaders elevate overall team performance.[00:29:00] 

[00:29:00] Speaker 2: You've been listening to Shedding the Corporate Bitch with Bernadette Boas. Until next time, keep shedding, keep growing, and keep leading.