How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You!

Speaking to a large group of female business owners recently, I made the comment, “For a long time now, I’ve learned to not care less about what others think of me… and its been the most liberating and transforming freedom I’ve ever felt before.”

I went on to say, “Although my Linkedin profile is full of entrepreneurial and executive titles, travel, achievement, certifications and accolades; I learned through hard knocks and multiple reality checks that those things mean little and have no value if I don’t use them to influence change and growth in other people.”

The room went quiet.

I then quoted a popular unknown source:
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew just how seldom they do.”

I could tell from the look on their faces that they were either deeply pondering the truthfulness in that quote, wondering how to get to that state of mind, or that I was totally full of myself. But remember, I didn’t worry what they thought of me; I only cared about what they thought of themselves, and it was that understanding I was after.

Can you relate?

For instance,

How often are you sitting on a call or in a meeting, out with friends or across the table from a loved one, and instead of being completely present and focused, you’re all in your head about what impression you are making or what you are going to say next?

Maybe you’re worried about asking a question and appearing unknowledgeable. Maybe, you spend countless hours shopping, dressing, and making yourself up for the sake of how others will perceive you. Or, maybe you hesitate saying or doing anything out of the norm; afraid of being judged, ridiculed or not accepted.

In these days of Twitter and FB, I don’t blame you. But you can control how you react.

What if, instead of being consumed by what others thought of you; you were consumed by focusing on what you think of yourself and how you can be:

  • A giving, caring and loving individual whom others want to be around.
  • Confident, influencial, strong, and compassionate who others couldn’t help but respect.
    An effective and productive leader at work and home others are drawn to follow.

NOTE: How other’s perceive you is how you perceive yourself… because every cell in your body and every behavior, action and word you put out into the world is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Rich Tip

Turn all of the time and energy you use on how other’s view you, onto yourself and work on becoming the best YOU you can be, with the confidence, certainty, and integrity anyone would want to follow and have in their world.

First,

  • Acknowledge if you agree: The only person’s thoughts, judgements and perceptions you can control are your own, therefore I choose to control what I can and to let go of the idea of controlling anyone or anything around me.
  • Write out what it is you want out of your career, business and life, which will make you happy, confident, and complete.
    • Indicate if you currently possess those things or need to work on obtaining those things.
  • Define a plan for pursuing and achieving those things you need; since making yourself happy is the easiest way to let go of what others think of you!
  • Make note of the type of person, professional and leader you want to be, and determine what, if anything, you need to work on to achieve being that person.

“Leaders are not, as we are often led to think, people who go along with huge crowds following them. Leaders are people who go their own way without caring, or even looking to see, whether anyone is following them.” John Holt.

Consume yourself with becoming the person, professional and leader others want to be with, work for, and follow… and you will be the best you, you can be!!

 

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