Do you believe you have to fail to succeed? Even look to fail in your pursuit for success? Or do you see it as plain failure and avoid it, every chance you get?Really understanding your response to this is the difference between you exceeding your goals or falling short. Even Thomas Edison claimed: I didn’t fail 10,000 times before inventing electricity; I eliminated 9,999 ways that didn’t work!


It’s all perspective, right?


Well then, what if I told you that you could be far more successful pursuing rejection, failure and NO; then you would by chasing achievement and YES! Putting it simply, instead of focusing, even setting goals, around the number of Closes/Yes you get, instead define goals focused on the number of No’s you get.


Up until a few minutes ago, I too would have questioned my own sanity in that concept. For years, I both feared failure and chased YES; as that is what I was taught to do. Then, in just under an hour, I read a small but powerful book, Go For NO! YES is the destination, NO is how you get there, by coauthors Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz .


I’m not going to repeat what their book talks about, as you will want to read the mere 80 pages yourself (Go Here). No, I am not a salesperson for them – it is a great read. What I want to focus on is why we are so afraid of rejection and those two infamous letters – N, O!


After finishing the book, I immediately sat down to ponder my own fear with rejection and No. What was it that scared me or made me anxious? And what are the impacts if I continue to fear it versus if I were to embrace it and ‘want No’, as Andrea and Richard advise?


Here is what I captured in a 60 second ‘popcorn’ exercise (write without thinking or editing): I asked myself: What Fear/Anxieties do I have about rejection and No:

  • It means, I’m not good enough
  • My product or service isn’t valued
  • No one wants what it is I have to offer


What are the impacts in my believing that:

  • No new clients
  • Unmet sales/income goals
  • Can’t pay my team
  • Won’t achieve my goal


Do I truly believe in those FEARs (False Evidence Appearing Real)?

  • No
  • Sometimes
  • Not really


What I have learned over the years, and Andrea’s book reminds me of, is: No doesn’t mean never… it simply means Not Now, Not for Me, Maybe Next Time, etc. When it does mean Never, it doesn’t mean it; For Everyone or Not Anyone, and it certainly does NOT determine my own self-worth and value. It simply means No.


A key concept of theirs is ‘get rejected and get rich plan’….  how?


This is what really hit home – so consider this for yourself, a team member and even your manager, and keep in mind, this can be applied to any goal – NOT just one focused on sales, though that will be our example. i.e. You have a goal of 3 sales… you’ve made 3 by mid month. What do you do? Most people, the majority, stop working so hard.

  • Now, say you have a goal of 100 No’s (based on your conversion rate)… regardless if you made your 3 sales, you have to keep pushing until you get 100 No’s…. consider what that will do to your 3 sales. Most likely, you will exceed it.


Being rejected or hearing No allows you to push forward, even keep moving fast instead of spending to much time with someone who won’t say Yes now. LEARN MORE HERE in my interview.


This small book, Go for No! , in its mere 80 pages really hit a nerve today. Because I then asked myself: What if I loved and chased No’s without fear, anxiety or hesitation, what would that mean to me:


  • Sales/income exceeded expectation
  • Goals achieved and possibly exceeded
  • Team healthy and happy, and growing!
  • Opportunities expanding
  • Stress eliminated or minimized
  • Fear, not fully eliminated, but managed through practice, discipline and faith.


I challenge you with these LEADERtips™:

  • Read the book, Go for NO! Yes is the Destination, NO is How You Get There!
  • Make note of the 1-3 new perspectives you gain from it.
  • Put at least 1 into practice  (I am going to begin setting NO goals vs. YES goals)
  • Ask yourself the above questions and tap into what may be causing you to avoid rejection or No.
  • Share with a teammate or colleague and help your team to exceed their goals.


What are your thoughts on this…comment below!


LISTEN to today’s episode of Shed the Bitch Radiowhen I interviewed Andrea Waltz, the author…. CLICK HERE. SUBSCRIBE to listen each week!

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